Growing old and gay

by Phyllis Steinberg
Wednesday Aug 11, 2010

Dear Phyllis,

I am the mother of two sons; Devin, who is gay, and Brett, who is straight. When Devin came out to our family we embraced him. We love him. But I have a nagging concern. When Devin becomes a senior citizen who will be there for him? Brett has a support system. He has a wife and three children. Even if Brett outlives his wife, he still has three children who can be there for him. I am worried about what will happen to my son Devin when he ages. Who will be there for him? Who will care for him and about him?


Dear Jillian,

In today's world gay men and lesbians find partners with whom to share their lives. They can and do have children and live their lives like many straight couples do. It is unfortunate that at this time they are not allowed to marry in most states although in time that may change. Even if Devin does not find a suitable long-term relationship, he can still have a network of friends who look after each other. In addition, there is a New York based social service and advocacy organization called SAGE(Services and Advocacy for GLBT Elders) whose mission is to improve the overall quality of life for LGBT seniors. They offer opportunities for LGBT seniors to connect with each other. Although SAGE delivers its services to seniors in the New York City area, they offer assistance to organizations around the country that serve LGBT seniors. SAGE can refer an LGBT senior to these other programs that provide services to LGBT seniors.

Best to you and your family,


  • , 2010-08-12 12:20:24

    There is also Openhouse in San Francisco ( that helps LGBT seniors find housing, community and services.

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