Logan Lerman On The Ball Gag Scene in ‘Oh, Hi!’: Breaking Taboos in Kinky Queer Rom-Com

The release of “Oh, Hi!” has ignited fresh discussions about the evolution of queer representation in romantic comedies, thanks in part to a scene that sees actor Logan Lerman navigating the complexities—and discomforts—of a ball gag on screen. The film, directed by Molly Gordon and co-starring Gordon herself, blends dark comedy with a sharp critique of modern dating, pushing boundaries both thematically and visually .

In the much-discussed scene, Lerman’s character, Isaac, finds himself chained and gagged as part of a twisted courtship orchestrated by Gordon’s character, Iris. The moment is played with a mix of humor and genuine vulnerability, offering a striking departure from the sanitized intimacy often seen in mainstream queer and straight romances alike. Critics have noted that Lerman’s performance—especially while wearing the ball gag—manages to communicate fear, confusion, and a surprising amount of charm, despite the physical limitations the prop imposes .

Lerman himself has spoken candidly about the challenge, stating, “It’s really hard on the jaw,” a remark that underscores the physical and emotional demands of the role . The use of the gag is not merely for shock value but is integral to the film’s exploration of power dynamics, communication, and consent—or lack thereof—in relationships.

The choice to include BDSM elements in a rom-com is deliberate, with both Lerman and Gordon drawing attention to the ways in which kink can expose underlying truths about relationships. The gag becomes a metaphor for the silence and miscommunication that haunt many couples, especially those navigating queer or non-normative relationships in a society that still often stigmatizes open discussions about sex and desire .

Queer film critics have praised “Oh, Hi!” for treating kink not as a punchline but as a legitimate aspect of intimacy, handled with both levity and respect. The film avoids pathologizing its characters, instead inviting viewers to laugh, cringe, and empathize with the awkwardness and excitement of sexual exploration .

While “Oh, Hi!” is not explicitly marketed as an LGBTQ+ film, its irreverent approach to gender roles, sexuality, and relationship structures has resonated strongly with queer audiences. The ambiguity of Isaac and Iris’s dynamic, as well as the film’s refusal to draw rigid lines around identity and desire, reflects the realities of many in the LGBTQ+ community who find themselves negotiating love in a world still learning to accept difference .

The film’s willingness to depict non-traditional forms of intimacy—complete with their messiness and comic potential—marks a significant step forward in the genre. For a medium long dominated by heteronormative narratives, “Oh, Hi!” asserts that queer stories can be just as complex, sexy, and funny as their straight counterparts.

Since its festival debut, “Oh, Hi!” has garnered praise for its unflinching look at the darker sides of romance and its refusal to shy away from taboo subjects . Reviewers have commented on how the film’s boldness is matched by sincere performances, especially from Lerman, whose willingness to embrace the discomfort of the ball gag scene has been lauded as both brave and refreshingly honest .

Audiences have responded with enthusiasm, particularly within queer communities, where the film’s message—that love is messy, communication is hard, and vulnerability is sexy—has struck a chord. The conversation around “Oh, Hi!” is less about the shock of seeing kink on screen and more about the authenticity and relatability of its characters’ struggles.

The success of “Oh, Hi!” suggests a growing appetite for queer stories that are unafraid to challenge conventions and embrace the full spectrum of desire. As more filmmakers and actors like Logan Lerman take creative risks, the landscape of LGBTQ+ cinema continues to expand, making space for narratives that are as diverse, nuanced, and surprising as the communities they represent .