Learning Curve

Rachel Spangler
Bold Strokes Books

Hello, I am Twofer and I am orange and I am a cat. My human has been leaving book pages in my litter box. At first I thought he was being thrifty, but then he began dropping hints about how Rita Mae Brown's cat writes mystery novels, and wondering aloud why some cats can pay the mortgage while others just throw up on the comforter. He said it in a really sweet tone in that annoying way humans do like you don't understand what they're saying. So I thought maybe I could write some book reviews for him, though it sounds like a lot of effort. "Most of these writers don't make much effort anyway," he said. One of those creepy moments when it seems like he's reading your mind. My human can really be quite perceptive, though he never seems to pick up when I'm thinking another can of Fancy Feast would really hit the spot. You could die of starvation around here, I swear. And every time I ask for a refill he picks me up, calls me lazy pumpkin belly, then says I'm too heavy and puts me down. Well, I've already finished one book review, so who's lazy now? I think I'll celebrate with a nap on the bathroom rug.