A shot at love with Calpernia Addams

Actress/activist breaks new ground with trans reality show

Add another impressive credit to the resume of indomitable actress, author and activist Calpernia Addams. The very out trans woman, whose tragic relationship with murdered U.S. Army Private Barry Winchell was dramatized in the film Soldier's Girl, and who has since become a leading trans spokeswoman and consultant, stars in Logo's new dating reality show, Transamerican Love Story. With the help of host Alec Mapa (from Ugly Betty and Desperate Housewives) and her business partner and best gal pal Andrea James, Addams will choose a boyfriend from a stable of eight eager hunks. It's not the first trans dating show, but it's a far cry from the U.K.'s sleazy There's Something About Miriam, in which the contestants didn't know the woman they were trying to impress was a pre-op transsexual. On Transamerican Love Story, Addams has nothing to hide. She was equally up front in an interview with Bay Windows, as she spoke about her mixed feelings about reality TV, dating as a trans woman, and trying to be "America's Transsexual Sweetheart."

Q: I just watched the first episode, where the contestants have to be your harem boys, so I'm picturing you regally reclining on a divan right now.
A: If only I had been able to keep the entire harem! I could have had a lot of fun with that.

Q: So how did this show develop?
A: I've been talking to Logo for a while, trying to find something we could do together. And the idea of a dating show came up, and this seemed like the right time to do it. We did have to talk about it a lot. The reality genre can go really wrong, or it can be fun and cool. But they pulled off something that I'm really proud of.

Q: What were you concerned about?
A: As a rule, I don't like reality television. Usually it's the most horrible people they can scrape together. And they shove them in these weird circumstances and people watch it like train wreck television. I feel that disrespects the participants and the audience. But if it's done well, it's just like watching a documentary. It can be funny and educational, and that's what this show is about.

Q: It's definitely a more sophisticated presentation of trans people than we usually see on TV. The contestants have to justify themselves to you, instead of the other way around.
A: One of the cool things about this show is that it's made by the GLBT community. A lot of people on the set, from PAs up to the executive, are GLBT or very connected to the community, so that puts you so far ahead of the game compared to most shows. Flava of Love has an applicant who may be a drag queen, someone who's gender variant in some way, and they keep going to that person like a joke. While on my show we don't dwell on the fact that I'm trans. We don't talk about surgical procedures and all those clich?s that deconstruct and dehumanize the trans women.

Q: It's only dehumanizing in that some of the contestants seem hard to put up with.
A: You know, the production company, which does all kinds of shows, said this was the hardest show they ever had to cast. So few men who might be interested in a trans woman are willing to date a trans woman publicly. So finding someone who would go on TV, and potentially introduce me to their parents - because that happens in the last episode - and who were interesting and good television ... they had to fling their nets far and wide to cast.

Q: And did they do a good job casting? Was it hard choosing amongst them?
A: You know, I'm an actress, and I went into this thinking I might have to act. I might have to pretend I liked these guys. But I really did get involved with these guys and find a little place in my heart for almost every one of them. And I cried almost every time I had to let somebody go.

Q: I wondered if as an actress, that was one your concerns about doing reality TV. That it focuses on who you are instead of what you do.
A: That's been a concern of mine for a long time now. Ever since I was a child I found ways to be on stage. I put on little plays in church, and when I was in the military I started a theater company in Alaska. Then in later years I became more known as an activist. So I was worried about focusing more on me than my talent. But it's doing good work to show people a trans woman who's in control and desirable, so it fits with my larger mission. But I do want to get some work with scripted entertainment when the writers' strike ends.

Q: What were some of the more memorable moments of the show for you?
A: Like a lot of actors, I'm a shy person in real life. That's why I like performing, because it lets me be larger than life. So in the show I get to be Cleopatra for an episode, I get to ride in a yacht and be treated like a princess and do so many wild, fun things. We all have seen reality shows, so we know to expect some over-the-top things. I had fun with that, and winked and nodded at the conventions of the genre here and there.

Q: And what other activities did the guys have to do?
A: For one date they cooked me a Southern dinner, which was fun. A lot of them had never heard of some of the foods I requested, which surprised me. I should have made them make chitlins, but even I don't like chitlins! There's another episode where Andrea and I cruise around in a yacht in cute little sailor outfits, while the boys worked on the beach. These are in the promos so I guess I can tell you this!

Q: The promos also show a lot of tension between the guys. Were you aware of that during shooting?
A: That surprised me when I saw the final episodes. I was in my little golden bubble on the show. I stayed in my little cottage with Andrea, and the boys were mostly on their best behavior when I was around. I was surprised how rambunctious they got when I wasn't around. I would have told them to settle down and be nice.

Q: Did seeing the footage change your ideas about any of them?
A: I think I'm a good judge of character. I don't regret any decisions I made on the show.

Q: So were you really surprised to learn that one of the contestants was trans?
A: Yes, I was really surprised. Logo had asked me what I like in a guy, and one of the things I said was that I'd like to see some diversity. Because of the really strict screening process, the cast ended up being very Caucasian. So it was great having him there. It added another layer of complexity and it taught me some lessons.

Q: What was it like meeting the parents at the end?
A: It was down to three people, so I met three sets of family members. My own parents don't participate in my life since I transitioned. So I have a "showgirl mother," a really cool drag performer who took me in when my family cast me out. So she got to meet with them, which was neat. I was pretty terrified to meet the parents, I admit.

Q: They were probably afraid, too.
A: I'm sure they were nervous. These guys really went out on a limb to be on this show. People still don't understand much about men dating trans women. They think, "Maybe they're gay, maybe they're kinky". So these guys are helping tear down that prejudice, and it's a hard thing to do.

Q: So what were their reactions like?
A: Most people came into it with an open mind. They all had their different points of view and had some hard questions for me. I know how to be the girl next door, so I was in full America's Transexual Sweetheart mode. As a Southerner, I know how to grin and bear awkward situations! I know I can be a challenge for people. One thing that's really hard for me is knowing that guys who date me are going to get hurt. They're going to get judged.

Q: It sounds like the show was an intense experience. Any regrets?
A: No, the show turned out really great. It kind of freed me from some of those worries. This show was fun and finally got me relaxed. And I'm proud that on this show we have silly things, but talk about deeper things like family and what it's like to date as a trans person. There's so much more to this show than the average dating show.

Q: Would you do a second season?
A: It was a very fun experience, but I don't know. The hardest thing I've ever done on camera is sending the guys home. I hate hurting people's feelings. I'd rather gargle broken glass and lick a lemon than say a word to hurt anyone.

Q: And now that the show has wrapped, what's going on with you and the winner?
A: Well, he's come to my house and cooked me dinner, and we talk on the phone. A TV show is weird way to get to know somebody. And after the show we can't date publicly until the results are released, so that makes it additionally difficult. But we're continuing to get to know each other and see what comes of it.

Q: Tila Tequila's show raised a lot of talk about representation. How do you think people will react to this show?
A: People in the LGBT community will think it's cool, hopefully, to see something that's by us and for us. I hope they'll tune in to see a kind of person that they know. Straight people might tune in just for the curiosity factor, but once they see how normal it all is, I hope their minds will be opened a little. As they giggle at guys dancing for me and feeding me grapes.

Q: Getting attractive people into skimpy outfits is never bad for ratings.
A: Well, I'm only human. Any excuse I had to whittle their costumes down, I went for it.

Q: Any plans for Valentine's Day?
A; Well, it will have to be something private. It's not like we're Tom Cruise and Katie Holmes, but the gay community is so small that we could be recognized and blogged about. I don't want to spoil the show. But I'm sure we'll figure out something.

Transamerican Love Story premieres Monday, Feburary 11 at 10 p.m. on Bravo. The show will also be available via the iTunes Music Store. Keep up with Calpernia Addams at www.calpernia.com.